contingent-dreams:

lunar-raspberry:

"And what do we say to death?""Not today."

"The fuck out my face"

mathpreacher:

accidentally forgetting your earbuds at home is like accidentally leaving your first born child at the gates of hell



airiela:

svagt:

totally doing my homework

Wow

xgenepositive:

nosdrinker:

no dog should ever be homeless

no home should ever be dogless

chidoree:

if you threw a pad or tampon into a crowd of boys they would probably all scream and it would be like that scene from monsters inc where george gets contaminated by a sock

pika-brew:

memeguy-com:

I didnt know body wash could be so sexy and condescending

Every time I see this post I think it’s a fire extinguisher and I get really confused

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

penceyprepofficial:

when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder

your first…?


sammywinchesster:

school picture day

fuckheaded:

Clearly she wears those short skirts and skimpy tank tops because she wants the d. and by d I mean vitamin d. she wants to soak up as much sun as she can. because revealing clothes are not an invitation for sex u prick

thesecretworldofarrietty:

i met Miley Cyrus two weeks ago or something and she refused to sign my Hannah Montana CD

she told me it wasn’t funny 


Rock On